LEUKEMIA

NO MO CHEMO

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We’ll folks. We’re officially at the end. I say “we”, because ya’ll have been on this damn journey with me.

I didn’t cry when I was first diagnosed (probably because I was in shock) but I almost cried in my doctor’s office a couple weeks ago when he said he wanted me to do another month of chemo. That meant I wasn’t going to be done before my big bash. The venue was booked, people had travel arrangements, invites were sent out and it was too late to postpone. But I quickly got over it because after almost 3 years, what’s another 21 days?

Speaking of celebration – on October 1st we did just that. My “No Mo Chemo” Party was everything I could have asked for and more. It was very surreal. I knew that so many friends and family were flying in to celebrate but it didn’t hit me until 100 of my favorite people were all in the same place to celebrate me.

This was before the sun went down and people were still arriving so this is only some of the guests.

Since there were so many people from various aspects of my life I had everyone wear a name tag with their name and how they knew me. This helped spark conversations / break the ice. One of my favorite things from the night was watching my friends become friends. I’ve lived in many different places thus meeting tons of people but have been very selective with who I pour energy into so I’ve created a life filled with top-notch friends. And it was beautiful to be surrounded by them all on this glorious evening.

We had delicious food trucks, a super talented live musician, a gorgeous view and sunset, glitter tattoos and face jewels, and a grooving dance floor with an epic playlist. On top if it all, people went all out with their outfits. I suggested “Disco/NYE” attire because I wanted a lot of sparkles and there sure were lots of sparkles. It was one of the best nights of my life.

I had disco-afied all the centerpiece vases. It took me hours and hours but they turned out so cute. I also made giant disco balls out of hula hoops. I wanted a neon sign but they were several hundred dollars so I attempted to DIY one but I didn’t like the way it turned out – it would have been funny (to me at least) because it said “Staying Alive” – a little double entandre. 😉

I felt like I needed to give a speech, even though I hate public speaking. I barely got 5 words in before crying my eyes out, which I knew was going to happen but was trying not to. It was ok because everyone else was crying too. But it was happy tears, because I FREAKING DID IT, I kicked cancer’s ass. Basically the gist of the speech was, “holy cow – I didn’t die, that was rough, but ya’ll made it a little more bearable and I could never thank you enough. But let’s boogie the night away!”

There’s a tradition in the cancer world where you get to ring “the bell” when you’ve finished treatment so I gave all the guests a mini bell to ring on Oct. 21 with me as I ring “the bell” since they’ve all been on this journey with me. For those that couldn’t make it to the party, if you have a bell at home, I encourage you to ring that thing TOMORROW because in the wise words of Elle Woods, “WE DID IT”!

Cancerversary – 2 Years Fighting Leukemia

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TWO YEARS FIGHTING CANCER in selfies. Another rollercoaster of a year, this time with more hair. It was slightly easier than the year prior, thank goodness. There seem to be more good days, some realllllly crappy days, but mostly just ok days.

I’ve gotten used to feeling super down during steroid weeks. I know when I’ll be out of commission and when I’ll typically start feeling better. My chemo is manageable and way less intense. I calculated it and I’ve had almost 80 chemo infusions since I started treatment two years ago, and almost 25 lumbar punctures. I tried to calculate the number of labs, pills, shots, and clinic/doctor’s visits but it was impossible.

I can’t believe it’s been two whole years since we thought I had COVID and it ended up being Leukemia and my whole life flipped upside down.

There is a light at the end of the tunnel though. I’ll be done with it all in September, if all goes as planned. It was kind of smooth sailing-ish up until recently. I’d been excited to update ya’ll on how great I’d been doing (relatively) but then… this past month I started feeling really lousy with extremely low energy, fevers and strange pains and we’re not really sure what’s wrong. I’ve been in and out of the ER and clinic trying to get to the bottom of it and haven’t been successful. I even got a blood transfusion for the first time in over a year because my hemoglobin took a dive randomly. I had a 2 year cancerversary tea party planned last weekend that I had to cancel and a work trip I didn’t make it on this week. I’m on a break from chemo to help my immune system fight off whatever’s going on. I seem to be on the mend, I hope.

I’ve taken full advantage of the good days. I try to adventure and spend time with friends and family as much as possible, to make up for lost time. I am so thankful for my support system and medical team. This has been an insane two years, but I am coming out on top. 

#cancerversary #leukemiawarrior #cancersucks #leukemia #cancerfighter 

I Bought Shampoo!

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This may sound strange, but I got emotional buying shampoo for the first time in over two years. My hair is growing ya’ll. To quote the wise ladies of “Drama Queens” One Tree Hill podcast, “Hair matters”.

It’s been a while since I posted a health update… sorry I’ve been living it up.

I’m doing well. I still have all my maintenance treatments (daily and weekly pills, monthly infusions and lumbar punctures and 1 crappy week of steroids a month). I don’t feel great but I also don’t feel awful.

I received monoclonal antibodies, four shots in my booty to protect me from covid since I’m still immunocompromised. I feel so much better knowing that I have that extra layer of protection.

BIG NEWS! Drummm roll please…………………

We have an end date! Light at the end of the tunnel. Doc said last treatment will be in September. SIX MORE MONTHS BABYYYY. You bet your okole I’m already planning my end of treatment party.

Last time I was in the clinic for a doctors appointment the front desk ladies were all gushing on how great I looked and were like “you’ve got your groove back”. They almost didn’t recognize me. We’ve come a long way.

two years ago
one year ago
today

I’ve been traveling and hanging out with friends. I feel like I’m making up for lost time and try to fill all my free time with F.U.N. But sometimes my body disagrees and gives me a gentle reminder that I’m still in treatment and have to take it easy. There are a couple days each month that I feel like absolute s-h-i-t and can’t leave bed or my “emotional support heat pack”. The rest of the days I feel like 45% crap, but that’s good enough for me. Last month I strategically scheduled my treatments and steroids so that I would feel awful in the tiny window between my friend’s bachelorette party, a huge weeklong photoshoot that I produce at work and jury duty. A diva is a female version of a hustla.

emotional support heat pack

I went on an amazing trip to Cabo with girlfriends. I’ll write a blog post about that soon so stay tuned. I also went to Palm Springs for a wedding, Mammoth for a bachelorette party and Vegas for a Shania Twain concert. Ya girl is livingggg.

My oncologist asked me to participate in a study for young adults with ALL and of course I opted in. I feel like any way that I can help future leukemia patients I’ll do it. I actually want to do more. I’m looking into volunteering for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society but I’m also open to other charities if anyone has reccomendations lmk.

Speaking of Drama Queens, lol at the beginning of this post, I’m actually headed to Wilmington, NC next month. Back to my roots. BTW, I painted my nails blue this week cuz Tar Heel Born and Tar Heel Bred…. I’m going out to spend time with my fam but I also want to visit the iconic OTH locations because listening to the rewatch podcast has uprooted some very nostalgic feelings. I won’t share photos from the last time I visited because it was when I was in high school and big yikes (hair, fashion, acne). I actually got to be an extra on an episode in season two. They cut me out but I promise I was there. You can see my friend and my foster sister. Maybe that’ll be a whole post on its own. Stay tuned.

blue nails manicure Tar Heels

anywhoooo TTFN and #goheels

-K

Fake it til you make it?

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Often times my response is “Great!” when people ask how I’m doing these days. That response is relative to how I felt last year but in comparison to my healthy life pre cancer it’s not so great. Does that make sense? I feel crappy 10/7 instead of 24/7 so to me that’s a win. Basically cancer gave me perspective. Or I’m a 7 (enneagram) and I just want to exude rainbows and butterflies.

I had a moment last week where I realized I might have some ptsd or something going on because I found some hair on my pillow. I am still on chemo. I just wasn’t expecting to lose hair again since it’s been growing like crazy. And then I had a visit with my oncologist and usually it’s just him and I in an appointment but this time there were 4 people in the room and he sat next to me and a moment of “oh crap I’m about to get bad news” flashed through my mind but really it was just that there was a fellow shadowing him and a nurse training with my case manager/nurse.

Maybe I need a therapist lol.

Then my doc was like “your liver numbers have been regular the past couple labs”, which is great cuz they sky rocketed for a couple months, and I thought he was going to say “so you can have tequila shots again” but instead he said “so we can increase the dosage on one of your chemo pills”. Major buzzkill.

A couple people in my life have recently been diagnosed with cancer and it breaks my heart. To know what they’re about to go through and how sick they’ll most likely feel. I just hope and pray they don’t feel as awful as I did and have a quick and successful treatment protocol ahead of them.

chemo infusion, but make it cute

Well, the good news is I’m now 11 months away from my end of treatment. Less than a year left!!! *Insert party dance gif*

K tootles I’m off to get a needle in my spine. 😝

A Day in the Life – on Chemo Steroids

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Wanna know what being on chemo steroids is like?

It’s 3am. You’re wired from insomnia, in excruciating back pain, full-on sweating.

Then you…

Read an entire novel.

Take Pepcid so you don’t die of heartburn the second you eat something.

Grind through a work project that would typically take 4 hours in approx. 55min.

Create an itinerary for your friend’s upcoming bachelorette party.

Eat 500 white chocolate cookies from Subway.

Send some emails.

Immediately regret emails.

Eat a pickle.

Edit the grammar of old Tweets.

Eat a banana.

Apply heat pack to back.

Scarf down a huge breakfast.

Write a review of the book you read earlier.

Get lost in a Pinterest rabbit hole of delicious-looking food recipes.

Eat carrot cake.

Work on 35 more work tasks simultaneously.

Reapply heat pack to back.

Glance at clock and realize it’s only 8am.

Online shop.

Overthink every single word spoken and typed all day.

Plan outings for the weekend then talk yourself out of them.

Google pain symptoms for the millionth time, as if anything has changed.

Text everyone in contact list to say “hi”.

Eat chips and guac.

Daydream about having a hot-tub to sooth back pain.

Text cousin with hot-tub.

Apply heat pack to back.

Brainstorm gift ideas for someone’s who’s birthday isn’t for another 6 months.

Scroll TikTok.

Eyeroll for 5 minutes at the video you found that says going to the LACMA lanterns is “cheugy”.

Eat Cheetos dipped in Del Taco hot sauce.

Open phone to do something and immediately forget what you were in the middle of doing.

Update bucket list.

Yell at your oh so sweet and extremely helpful mum for no reason.

Change Spotify playlist for the 100th time.

Start planning a random dinner party.

Meticulously read through a work email to ensure you understand exactly what it says.

Worry you possibly read emails wrong in the past.

Eat mashed potatoes.

Deep dive Yelp for future restaurant reservation ideas.

Map out closest thrift shops.

Massage swollen face.

Clean out inbox.

Scour internet for specific tube top.

Try to start a series on HBO but don’t follow through because you are having a hard time focusing.

Start a new book. But stop because of same focusing issue.

Attempt to quiet your mind from reliving horrible moments from the last year.

Browse Goodreads to update book list.

Google ways to reduce swelling from salt consumption.

Design a graphic for a friend’s new business.

Knead sore calves.

Remove all clothes because fabric hurts to touch.

Research online classes to learn new skills.

Reapply heat pack to back.

Google anxiety coping mechanisms.

Decorate dream home in your mind.

Cry in discomfort and extreme hot flashes.

Make notes in phone to remember how and when these damn steroids affect you.

Stress about weight gain from all the crap you ate today.

Giggle at cancer satire insta account that perfectly sums up your situation.

Reapply heat pack.

Eat chips.

Force yourself to realize this is all temporary, will pass in a day or two, you’ve been through so much worse & YOU CAN DO HARD THINGS.

All while laying flat on your back in bed because ow.

*slightly exaggerated for emphasis…but not really.

I write notes on the tops of pill bottles to easily grab them. My steroid is Dexamethasone.

“Who We Are” – Tyrone Wells

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I’ve mentioned before that Tyrone Wells is my favorite singer/songwriter. I’ve been to tons of his live shows, his music always touches my heart and played a small part in helping me get out of a toxic relationship (read more here.) Today he released a new single called Who We Are and you should run, not walk to go listen to it.

I was alone in the hospital, just days after I was diagnosed last year, and Tyrone hosted a live performance on his instagram which was so perfectly timed with what was going on in my life. So I reached out to him on insta and thanked him. From there he would occasionally check in and see how I was doing and started following my cancer journey. (Side note: I know some people have a problem with the word “journey” when talking about their cancer experience but I think it’s pretty accurate and don’t hate it at all). Anywhooo back to my story- earlier this year Tyrone asked for my email to send an unreleased song and holy moly what a thoughtful gift. I immediately burst into tears because every bit of that song spoke to my soul. He said if I liked the song, it could be a sort of an anthem and he was 100% correct. I thanked him for thinking of me and said how it completely resonates with my life but it’ll touch so many people as well. He said I was the first person outside his work crew and family to hear it. Wow how special. This whole cancer thing really sucks but there have been some really beautiful moments to come out of it and this was one of them.

I told all my closest friends to listen to the song today and they all wrote me back saying they got chills.

The bridge goes “I will turn the pain into tears of gold, I’m not caving in, I’m not letting go. When I hear them say, that it can’t be done, I’m not laying down, I will overcome.”

You have to hear it because the whole song is powerful.

Last week, I was flying from Oahu to Maui which is a 40 min flight in a 12 passenger plane and I kid you not, I listened to this song on repeat the whole ride. It was really hard to keep the tears from falling down my face in that tiny airplane. I was also on Decadron which makes me super emo… I was so moved that he shared it with me and thought about me and my journey. I also thought about all I have been through this past year. The months in the hospital alone, the night in the ICU where I almost died, the pain, the nausea, the anxiety, the sleepless nights, learning how to walk again, the isolation, and everything in between. I still have bruises on my stomach from shots I got over six months ago. I see them every day and it’s a reminder of where I’ve been and how far I’ve come. I was also flying from a weekend with one of my college roomates on Oahu (which is such a special place to me- where I went to college and had the time of my life) to Maui for my nephews 10th birthday party with the rest of my family. I am beyond grateful I survived this past year and get to celebrate these unfortettable moments.

view from the puddle jumper

I didn’t share much of the absolute worst days with ya’ll because 1. I was so stinking sick and 2. I didn’t want to scare you with horrible details. But know that it sucked. You can’t control what happens to you but you can control how you react and I chose and am choosing to smile through the pain and always seek the good in every situation. Plus, this whole experience has made me stronger and I can only image who I will be after I’m done with all of this. Speaking of, even though it’s more than a year away, I am planning an epic end of treatment bash where maybe I can convince Tyrone Wells to perform this song… lol dream big, right?

K now go listen.

“I believe, yes I believe it. I can see, yes I can see it. Though I’m not there yet, I lift up my head. I believe, yes I believe it. I can see, yes I can see it. Every bruise and every scar makes us who we are.“

A Picture-Perfect Pinch Me Picnic

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As of Tuesday, I have been fighting cancer for ONE WHOLE YEAR.

I wanted to do something special as a thank you for the girls that have been my San Diego fam through this insane year.  They’re the ones that made signs and waved at me from a bridge outside my hospital room when they weren’t allowed in due to Covid, organized video messages when I was feeling down, brought me dinners, constantly checked in, and did more for my morale than they even know possible. I am forever grateful. So as a small token of my appreciation I hosted a sunset picnic at one of our local neighborhood viewpoints overlooking the ocean.

First of all, I love hosting and planning events, and this gave me something to dive my energy into besides work lately. There are tiny details, if you look closely, that I tried to put a lot of love into. I arranged the flowers myself (and then all my girls brought me bouquets of flowers themselves as a gift – they know me so well), stuck to a color scheme (pink is my current color obsession), designed “thank you” cards along with handwritten geode name tags for everyone’s table setting, bought an insane assortment of snacks for grazing boards (+ pizza duh), curated a playlist that included songs that reminded me of each of my guests from a specific memory with them, and had a cheeky “F Cancer” sign to remind us what we’ve been through. To top it all off Amelia made the most gorgeous candy platter of my dreams.

We laughed, cried, hugged (for the first time in a YEAR), ate way too much, watched the sunset, and had the sweetest evening with the best friends a girl could hope for.  

*I wish I had taken more photos but honestly, we were enjoying each other’s company that we forgot to.

*Shout out to my BFF Amelia. She’s v preggo and I’m still pretty wobbly/fatigued, and we set up this whole thing just the two of us.  

How lucky am I that I get to call these girls my friends? Pinch me.

You bet your butt I’ll be throwing a blowout party when my treatment officially ends that EVERYONE will be invited to… but we still have over a year before that happens so stay tuned. 

alohaaa

Young Adult Cancer Awareness

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This week is AYA (Adolescent & Young Adult) Cancer Awareness Week. Yes, I qualify as a young adult (I googled it).

I was just one of 89,500 AYAs (in the US) diagnosed with cancer last year.

AYAs are the most underserved cancer population by age. I sit in a chemo chair surrounded by patients 20-30 years older than me. And I’ve been involved with childhood cancer orgs/programs for my whole life – where there are tons of resources.

The goal of this week is to raise awareness about how hard it can be for young adults under 40 to deal with cancer while trying to keep up with their lives. The hope is to educate on the unique challenges AYAs face and show what their community can do to support them.

One of the cancer accounts I follow, Stupid Cancer, posted on their instagram a series of challenges AYAs deal with and each slide resonated with my experience.

Luckily in my case I was diagnosed in my thirties so I’ve finished school and started a career but I do not have a significant other. Dating during cancer treatment is hard enough but throw a worldwide pandemic into the mix and ya girl has never felt more single.

I don’t feel like myself, with all my ailments, but also I don’t look like myself. So it’s hard to imagine getting to know someone else when I feel so off. I know I’m still me but I want to be the best version of me when I’m possibly meeting my person. But also, I just want to have fun with my girls when this pandemic ends… so who cares anyway? lol

I’ve always been super independent. I haven’t lived with my parents since I was in high school so having them move to California to help take care of me was an adjustment.

I don’t really know how I would have survived this last year with out them upstairs to help. There were so many things that I normally would easily do for myself but all of the sudden couldn’t handle. I couldn’t do my own laundry, cook meals, grocery shop, drive to appointments, clean, walk up stairs, clip my finger nails, open bottles, pick up items, reach for things… the list goes on.

I mean not so long ago I was so weak that I couldn’t even button my jeans.

I was diagnosed at the beginning of the pandemic last year. Not being able to have visitors in the hospital with me for the months I was there alone was bad enough. But I also have to go to the clinic and all doctor’s appointments by myself and haven’t been able to go to friends houses or have visitors in my home. I’ve never spent so much time alone in my life.

Thank goodness for technology but I crave social interactions. I miss my friends.

I constantly talk with my friends about how it’s a silver lining that I did the rough part of my treatment during the pandemic so I didn’t miss out on too much. But I still have FOMO from the few little adventures that I am unable to do. Just a couple more weeks until I’m fully vaccinated!

Holy moly the scanxiety is real. I imagine this won’t ever get easier. I’ll live with this the rest of my life.

When I can’t sleep I google statistics about relapses and then my mind races and I just have to remind myself that I can’t even go there. I just have to manifest that I’ll only have to fight cancer this one time.

Sometimes I think about my brother who died from ALL but then I also think of my friend Natalie who had the same diagnosis when she was a kiddo and is doing great.

Deep breaths and happy thoughts…

This is one of the first things I thought of when I was diagnosed becuase many of my cancer survivor friends have had a difficult time with fertility along with the fact that I’m over 30 and do not have a husband or kids but do have a ticking biological clock.

I am currently in chemical menopause, in an attempt to save some of my eggs. Heyooo hot flashes. But I’m still in treatment until I’m 33 and there’s no guarantee I’m going to meet someone anytime soon. I’ll most likely freeze my eggs, if there are any left. TMI? I just know that I would very much like to be a mother.

I know it’ll all work out one way or another but this is a topic that’s often in the back of my mind.

Thank goodness I have great health insurance but I still have so many medical expenses that aren’t covered. I would much rather be spending that money on anything else. There are still a bunch of pending charges on my account that are like your insurance paid 90% of this bill but you owe $10,000 and I just have to wait and see if I’m actually charged that.

One day I was looking up on my account how much my first month in the hospital cost and it was $600,000.00. Let me say it again – six hundred thousand dollars. For one month! What do people who don’t have insurance do? That is not ok.

I read a comment on the instagram post that was from a young man saying he was diagnosed with ALL (which is my diagnosis) at 35 and was out of work for 3 years and I just thought how lucky am I that the longest I was out of work was for 6 weeks. I’m so grateful that I can work from home and feel well enough (most days) to do so. It’s actually given me something to do that makes me feel productive and helps pass the time. I can’t wait to actually get back to the office to be able to work in person. Again, I miss that human interaction. I’m sure a lot of people do.

I am not a part of any support group and haven’t participated in any cancer events, mostly due to the pandemic but also I’m just not aware of many for my age group/diagnosis. My clinic/cancer/hospital experience isn’t like a movie where I meet my soulmate or bff in the clinic… my empath soul just gets pretty sad waiting amongst the older patients, I wear my headphones so I don’t have to hear the old men snoring and try to make friends with the nurses because they’re the only ones around my age.

After the pandemic, my friend Lizzy and I plan to volunteer with a cancer organization. Everything’s on hold at the moment so we’ll have to do some research to find the right one when we’re able to. I’ll keep ya’ll posted.

For more info and/or resources on AYA Cancer Awareness visit the Stupid Cancer website.

Th-th-that’s all, folks.

A Bone Marrow Biopsy, Palm Springs & Pie

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I woke up exhausted today. I haven’t been sleeping very well. A stranger on Instagram said she’s had the same problem and it might be because of the full moon last night. idk. I had a day jam packed with meetings for work and now I’m even more exhausted. Also, I have weird anxiety from social media crap that doesn’t even have to do with me or my life. Is that the full moon too? It’s also an empath problem. I’ve always had some sort of anxiety but since I was diagnosed with cancer during a pandemic I feel it differently. So fun, she said facetiously.

I had a bone marrow biopsy a couple weeks ago. I was super anxious about it because my last one was traumatic, but it went better than I expected. It was the same nurse practitioner that does my lumbar punctures so that helped because we’re homies. It was way quicker than my last one and only one part hurt really bad. I was sore for a long time afterwards though. It’s been a few weeks and it still feels a little tender. My results came back clear which means that the chemo is working and there’s no sign of cancer! Even though I’m on a break from chemo, I still had to get a blood transfusion when my counts were too low, and an infusion the infectious disease doctor said I needed to insure the cdiff doesn’t come back, since I’ve had it twice in the hospital now.

another day another blood transfusion

I feel so good these days. It’s insane how just a few weeks off of chemo can really make a difference in my body. I am walking like a pro. I don’t even use my walker or walking sticks anymore! I still waddle like a drunk toddler sometimes but hey, baby steps. Pun intended.

I’ve had a couple outings which have been delightful. My doctor said that since my counts are rising I’m less immunocompromised which means I can leave my bubble a bit. I still have to be extra cautious until I’m vaccinated, which will hopefully be soon.

My parents, Coco and I went to Palm Springs for the weekend a couple weeks ago to see my aunt and uncle and one of my best friends that was in town. It was so nice to leave my house, sit in the sun and socialize with one of my bffs. As my health is increasing I also need to boost my mental health and this weekend did just the trick. And last weekend I went up to see Amelia in her back yard. Again, just a couple hours in the sun with people I’ve missed so much means the world to me after the year I’ve had.

Palm Springs
Amelia’a backyard & chickens

Yesterday my mum wanted to check out Julian, a little town in the mountains known for their pie. We were not prepared for how freaking cold it was. Mum told us the temp before we left but didn’t take into account the wind factor. My dad was in shorts and slippers lol. So we drove all the way up there, got some pie and drove home. The pie was bomb though. We’ll go back when it’s warmer, and when I can drink wine again because there are a bunch of wineries on the way up.

so ono

Sorry this post was all over the place. I just wanted to send out a quick update since it had been a while. To summarize: Cancer’s gone. Still in treatment for a long time. But feeling good.

k bye

*please excuse any typos, I’m too tired to check Grammarly

World Cancer Day

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Today is #worldcancerday. Even though my life has always been touched by cancer in some way – my brother died of cancer before I was born, growing up I volunteered at various cancer organizations, I traveled to DC to advocate for cancer research funding, I interned at the Ronald McDonald House in college, and I worked for a childhood cancer foundation for almost 5 years – I now have a completely different perspective of this dreadful disease.

This past year has been the hardest in my life. I’ve never felt so low, so sick, so helpless. I always knew the kiddos I worked with were strong but I understand on a whole new level now.

I guess this day is to help spread awareness but I’m pretty sure everyone’s very aware. I bet every person on earth has somebody in their life that has been affected by cancer. Which is why it’s important to do what we can to prevent, detect earlier and treat cancer successfully.

Some ways you can help is by making a donation to a reputable nonprofit, volunteering your time, donating blood, or sending your favorite bald mermaid funny memes to get through the tough times.

This year has been a rollercoaster ride (lots of ups and downs and vomiting) and I couldn’t have gotten through it without all your support, encouraging words, prayers and aloha. Thank you.