2020 has been such a strange year for everyone but I think my year has been a tiny bit crazier since I was diagnosed with leukemia. There are so many things that I miss since I’ve had to live in a bubble but instead of focusing on the negative, I’ve decided to make a list of things that I’m looking forward to doing once again.

1. Jumping in the ocean. I asked my doctor the other day if they’ll be taking out my PICC line when I move to the maintenance phase of my treatment and he said yes! Boom Shakalaka – that means I can jump in the ocean soon! And he’s like well you know the ocean is very cold right now. I was like I know but I’m just planning for the future and possibly a trip to Hawaii when it’s safe to travel again. But I don’t think I’ve ever gone this long without swimming in the ocean and this mermaid is craving a magical dip.

2. Eating poke. Beacause of my treatment, I’m not allowed to eat raw fish and it’s torture. Every time my mum asks what I want to eat my answer is “poke” and then she says “you can’t have poke” and I say “but that’s what I want”. Anyway, I’ve tried imitation crab “poke bowls” to try and satisfy the hankering but it’s not the same! I want spicy ahi from Tamura’s.

3. Dancing. I miss dancing Tahitian and hula so much. I can barely walk up stairs, my muscles are all shot and I have bad neuropathy so I couldn’t even fathom trying to dance right now but I will get stronger and will shake my booty again.

I’ve been following this TikTok famous woman on social who was diagnosed with leukemia a month before me. She’s an incredible mother of 5 young kiddos and has had such a rough cancer journey as well. She’s a dance teacher and has been dancing through her treatments and I’m so inspired by her positivity. But sometimes it makes me sad that I can’t dance like she can. My body just isn’t strong enough at the moment. I have to remind myself of that quote “comparison is the theif of joy” and just believe my body will heal miraculously and I will dance again.

4. Traveling. This is an obvious one. I’m used to traveling allllllll the time that it’s been so bizarre to just sit at home for months on end day dreaming about different cultures, food, architecture and people. My Pinterest is full of adventures to be had. I’m thinking Paris, Greece, and Prague, or maybe Thailand and Kuala Lumpur or New Zealand. The list goes on and on honestly… I am open to recommendations.

5. Hiking. Like I said above, I can’t even climb stairs without it feeling like Mt. Everest so I can’t wait for my body to be strong enough to just even stroll through nature. I miss trees, fresh air, playing word games with friends on the way up and the views at the top. I also love that I feel closer to God when I hike.

6. Going to a Broadway show. When I was 10 years old my mum took me to New York for the first time and we saw Annie Get Your Gun with the incredible Bernadette Peters as Annie Oakley and I FELL IN LOVE with Broadway. My eyes were glued to the stage and I sat in pure wonderment for two hours. It encouraged me to pursue acting and shortly after that trip, I auditioned for a local summer program where we performed Into the Woods. I was cast as just a woodnymph (aka chorus background nobody) but it kicked off a passion for performing and I participated in many musicals for years to come. For my 12th birthday, my parents surprised me with FRONT ROW tickets to see Annie Get Your Gun at the Paramount in Seattle. We were so close the actors were spitting on us and I brought my best friend who’s a redhead and the main actress pointed to her as they took their bows and said there’s the next Annie and winked at us. It was so special.

My mum and I have been watching a lot of cheesy movies on Netflix lately but they’re set in NYC and it makes me want to visit so bad. As soon as I kick this cancer’s butt and covid gets under control, we are booking flights to the Big Apple and are going to as many shows as possible. Starting with Mean Girls.

7. Visiting museums. I enjoy museums, fun installations, and art pop-ups. I like learning new things and all but one of my favorite things to do in an art museum is rename the pieces. You know like a super old Renaissance painting that should be named “Cardi B’s WAP” or something stupid to spice it up. LOL. I’ve considered curating my own pop-up museum but that sounds like a lot of work. It’s still on my bucket list for when I have more energy and/or win the lottery.

8. Social gatherings. I miss my friends. I want to throw a dinner party. I want to have a glass of wine in a bar. I want to eat chips and salsa at a Mexican restaurant. I want to go to a baseball game. I want to attend a picnic at the beach. I want to dress up and dance the night away at 80s night at the Belly Up. I want to hug my bff.

I have high hopes for 2021 and just pray that we can all get back to a “normal life” soon. Ok your turn – what are y’all looking forward to doing most?

Shoots den.