When it hasn’t been your day, your week, your month or even your year…

I actually wrote this post a few weeks ago but now I’m reporting from the ER with an ANC of 0.2 and a fever waiting to be admitted to the hospital. As if I thought anything else would happen on the last day of this crap year. But I’ll be darned if I couldn’t post this NYE mood board.

As much as I’m ready to say deuces to 2020, it was still an entire year. One I’d like to forget, most of. But I thought I should honor it by making a list of things that I was actually keen on. There were some. Not many. But some.

• I still enjoy my job. I’m actually changing departments this week and I’m super excited to learn a new position but get to keep working with my team, whom I love. It’s been a blessing to be a part of a company that prides itself on customer service, quality and employees wellbeing. I’ve never been more appreciated and supported in a job before. It’s refreshing to be surrounded by positivity, creative collaboration and innovative ideas. I’m just relieved my cancer hasn’t kept me being able to do my job. It helps me feel a little more normal.
• My parents moved to the mainland to help take care of me. I don’t know what I’d do without them. It’s weird to be living with my parents in my 30s since I moved out at 18 and have always been super independent, but c’est la vie. They have been lifesavers. They help me with meals, meds and take me to all my appointments but they are also just wonderful to be around, which is good for my mental health. This year could have been even more lonely. It sucks that they don’t get to enjoy their new city because we’re stuck in a bubble. But it is so nice having them here with me.
• Coco Puff – that’s a given. Puppy snuggles make everything better.
• Social Distant / Long Distant Love. I feel oh so loved. From videos compiled by sweet friends expressing support to front yard hangs to well wishes cards in the mail. I have such a strong support system, which I’ve discovered to be crucial when fighting for my life.
• My body is responding well to treatment. It’s been a rough ride, but ultimately the chemo is working. Just pray the cancer stays away as I move on to the maintenance phase and beyond. (Lol again I wrote this a couple weeks ago).

Oh how I wish I was putting on a sparkly dress, popping champane and ringing in the new year with friends. I’d even embrace the insane Uber surges, disappointing midnight kiss, and inevitable bathroom floor hangover that often accompanies the holiday.

2021 will be better. I’m manifesting it. My cancer will be gone. My treatment will be minimal. Covid vaccines will start working. We will be able to take off our masks. I will be able to be around people again. People will start getting their jobs back. The economy will turn around. Kindness will be cool. Joy will return. I’d be down to keep up the cozy WFH wardrobe though.

Good riddance 2020. See ya never. Happy New Year!

Cheers y’all.

* Most images in the collage were found on Pinterest. Some are mine.